21st Century Black Woman

My Grievances with Black Social Media

TW: Suicide and Domestic Violence

  In August of 2024, I decided to take a much needed social media cleanse. Hours of scrolling through never-ending timelines and “for you” pages had taken a toll on me. Falling through the bottomless pit of algorithms made me desire a more fulfilling way to spend my time. When I think back to a couple years ago, I don’t recall my time on social media being so draining. I question if nostalgia is the culprit clouding my judgment; however, many of my peers have noticed the internet landscape’s gradual transformation leaning into negativity. Black people notably have a hand in creating some of the funniest, most creative, and joyous trends spread throughout the internet. Our contribution to countless interweb spaces is boundless. Unfortunately though, black media is largely what ran me off social media.

Back in 2019, The Shaderoom had become an unstoppable force within black internet spaces. While I did enjoy the memes and jokes that were in tandem with whatever current mess was happening, I couldn’t help but notice the toxicity lying underneath the surface. Later that year, I had decided to block The Shaderoom to relieve my timeline of the constant negativity . I wish that would’ve been the end of my worries scrolling through my personal feed. Sadly, this was only the beginning of a downward spiral that began tumbling throughout the net. Whatever formula The Shaderoom was using was indeed working. Other black owned social media outlets quickly followed suit. In an instant, it seemed as if every primarily black focused social media page and blog were all adhering to the same blueprint The Shaderoom set before them. The new formula is as follows: post a headline as shocking, bothersome, misleading or bizarre as possible; include a celebrity or public figure that’s currently at the receiving end of mass public scrutiny (usually a black woman or black LGBTQ member); and wait for the hate comments to roll in. With little to no work, you have achieved favor from the algorithm due to the traffic driven to your page.

 It’s puzzling that outlets intentionally spread misinformation. As I said before, one of black media’s faults is the habitual use of scurrilous headlines. Many of us can admit the lack of research done when running across a title drenched in scandal. However, these sites have no desire to steer their audience in the direction of the whole truth. In 2022, The Shaderoom posted that the Biden administration planned to give out “crack pipes.” This headline couldn’t be further from the truth. The administration intended on administering “safe smoking kits” to combat the spread of disease and overdoses due to dangerous drugs. Publishing such an outlandish headline is irresponsible. It can also be triggering to black people still feeling the impact of the crack epidemic decades later. With managing such a large black platform, I can’t imagine why someone would want to upset their audience in this way. 

One of my biggest gripes with black media spaces is the dog piling. Although this is not native to solely black media spaces, I would’ve hoped a group that faces such collective hardship would show a little grace. Public figures (including children) have fallen victim to The Shaderoom’s antagonistic posts. These outlets intentionally try to elicit negative reactions in the comments. In recent years, they frequently posted Zaya Wade, Dwayne Wade’s transgender, underage daughter. She was consistently the target to a slew of cruel, transphobic, violent, and wildly inappropriate comments. No one deserves to experience this degree of widespread callousness, especially not children. They could use this an opportunity to lead impactful discussions on how to raise and support black, queer children. Instead, the platform allows its followers to reinforce the harmful and limited behaviors. Many of the black blogs have posted the famous rapper’s, Boosie, homophobic and harmful opinions about Zaya Wade and the rest of the black LGBTQ community. This presents an opportunity to facilitate a culture of ignorance and bullying on their side of the internet. Approximately, 21 percent of black LGBTQ youth try to commit suicide due to being ostracized by the rest of the community. The Shaderoom and many other black media sites could spend their time encouraging their large community to unlearn the harmful rhetoric. They could try to spread awareness to about disdain and violence against Black queer people. Instead, they continuously choose to do the complete opposite. 

There is an influx of engagement on these pages, but no meaningful dialogue. In 2020 and 2021, I was completely floored by the way Black media handled the shooting of Megan Thee Stallion. As I stated earlier, using black women who are under public scrutiny is perfect for securing favor from the algorithm. While I recognize Megan Thee Stallion observes more privileges than the average black woman, her treatment is a large representation of how black women get treated when they speak out against their powerful abusers. As they posted Tory Lanez’ content regarding Megan Thee Stallion, the site became a breeding ground for misogynoir, constantly rearing its ugly head. Many of their supporters flocked to the comments, showing support to a man getting accused of a violent, senseless act against a woman. Statistics illustrate that 51 percent of black female homicides are a result of intimate partner violence. Black women are also 3 times more likely to be killed by a man than white women. Ironically, black women make up majority of The Shaderoom’s followers. For a community this platform owes its success to, you would think there’d be an incentive to educate their followers on this matter. Unknowingly, The Shaderoom could be encouraging some of their followers to endure the abuse they are experiencing, for fear of becoming ostracized. Many women speak of the shame they feel while weathering a violent relationship. Women in a violent relationship may be deterred from leaving their partner after running across negative reactions from Megan speaking out against her abuser. Domestic violence cases should always be addressed with care, but clearly that isn’t in the cards for The Shaderoom and other popular Black media forums. Creating a space for meaningful dialogue doesn’t grant the same instant gratification as posting a defamatory statement against a domestic violence survivor. 

If I desire for my website and community to grow, I know I’ll have to get back on social media regularly. Now more than ever, I recognize how difficult the upkeep is running a website and brand. As I get older, I’m inclined to give more grace to those that upset me by how they choose to handle their platform. I know that black creators must teeter a thin line being “for the culture”, but also profitable. As a small blogger, I can only imagine the hurdles the creator(s) of the Shaderoom, Neighborhood Talk, Spiritual World, and more went through to become as popular as they have. However, there must be a drastic change in the way our news and media is presented. I’m in no way a stickler for black people to always adhere to the narrow rules of respectability politics. And I’m aware that black people are human and prone to error. But how many more harmful posts ending with the caption “Thoughts?” can we allow? Long gone are the days of Jet or Essence magazine that uplift our accomplishments and beauty. Now, we are left with “roomies” picking apart the new public figure they’ve decided to dislike today, for a reason they’ll forget after a week.